E S L
— phrasal
verbs
— translations
— Cloze
tests
— transformations
— speaking topics
— writing topics
— 3rd year materials
Why is English So Hard to Learn?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple.
English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are
candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat.
We take English
for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth
is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can
make amends but not
one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught,
why didn't preachers
praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play
at a recital?
Ship by
truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run
and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the
unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out but and in which an
alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the
creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't
a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but
when the lights are
out, they are invisible.
And finally, how about
when you want to shut
down your computer you have to hit "START" ?????